Home Alone

So, my host mom and I had a really interesting communication breakdown the other day. She apparently had plans to go to visit her family in the campo this week (about a 4 day trip) and, without saying a WORD to me about it, apparently expected me to be ready and able to go. The probelm was, of course, that I have a JOB...which means I have to go to work and can't just leave to go sit in the middle of nowhere for four days. After quite a bit of battling, she finally decided that they should go the campo and leave me home...alone. I, of course, have no qualms about staying alone for a few days. The entire community, however, just about had a heart attack. My first day alone (Monday), I had THREE different people try to feed me lunch, but was ultimately dragged by my principal to dine with her and her brothers. The whole town apparently thinks that A. I am incapable of feeding myself and B. I will die if I go one day without rice and beans. My first NIGHT alone (also Monday), the whole town had apparently planned a sleepover for me...I couldn't of course, stay by MYSELF!! I mean I only have to LIVE alone for TWO years!!! Anyway, my project partner called me to ask when I was coming over to her house to stay the night. I politely declined, to which she replied that she, then, woudl come down to MY house to stay the night. After abour 5 minutes of explaining to her that I WASN't going to die, I finally got her to leave me alone and was able to have a quiet night...withOUT evangelical music! it was glorious.

My New Babies

Pretty much anyone who knows me knows how annoying I am when it comes to "my babies."I could talk about all of my precious little students ad nauseum. Therefore, I have to put at least a few words in about how my actual JOB is going. So far, I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off, TRYING to talk to as many professors as possible before they disappear into the black hole that is summer vacation. I have also been feverishly giving reading tests to all of the students in grades 1 through 4 who are below grade level. The problem is that my school is GIGANTIC and that everyday I find about a million more students who should be in my summer camp. I have some third graders who are "principantes", which means that they don't know a single word or letter, and normally cannot write their name. Then, yesterday, I had an 11 year old SECOND grader, who is completely alfabetized...so I have no idea why he is still in 2nd grade. Which has lead me to conclude that the teachers just throw a dart at a dartboard to decide which students will be in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc. I also, of course, am already in love with all of the most violent, agressive kids in the school and have invited just about all of them to be in our camp!
Aside from the fact that there is only one week left in the school, the other major obstacle I have is that my school loves to "dispachar." According to my dictionary, this means "to dispatch". According to Dominicans, this means "send the kids home early just because we want to." They have been dispacharing just about EVERY day this week...so I am ready just to settle with what I have and hope that this insane summer camp is not a complete failure!

Top 5 Things I Have Learned in the DR

5.The United States is really called Nueva York. Therefore, I am from Chicago, which is located in Nueva York.
4. All languages that aren't Spanish must be English. This explains why I was given a very interesting novel...that is entirely in German.
3. "Gripe", or the flu, is caused by getting wet when it rains or by inhaling too much dust. It is completely unrelated to sharing the same cup, drinking from the same bottle, or passing around suckers from mouth to mouth.
2. Washing one's hair when one has a cold is the most ridiculously dangerous thing that he can do. The chemicals in the shampoo can cause pneumonia, so beware!
1. When one is very hot (after running, for example), he should NEVER open the refridgerator because the blast of cold air will give him Bell's Palsy.

Hope you all enjoyed your little lesson from the DR!